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Agent 0-3

arenas.jpgThe Wizards aren’t exactly helping my cause to rally some NBA interest around The Loss Column.  They have started off the year 0-3, their worst since the ’92-’93 season, losing to the Pacers, the Celtics, and the Magic. The main culprit has been their poor shooting, with Gilbert Arenas only sinking 33% of his shots and 1 out 17 three-pointers. He’s not the only one to blame, though, with Jamison and Butler helping compile an historically bad 0-22 stretch from beyond the arc. The Wizards are a team that relies on momentum and a fast-paced, jump-shooting offense to fire on all cylinders. When it doesn’t, they can look completely uninspired.

The thing is, Gilbert hasn’t been helping recently, and not just because of his poor shooting. Before I say why, credit goes to him for 1) single-handedly forcing fans and media to finally regard him as the superstar he is and 2)shamelessly stealing his nickname, Agent Zero, from wizznutzz.com and getting fans and media to actually use it. Commendable. But starting last season, he’s been using his “secret weapon” blog to pump up his swagger image and ruffle his opponent’s feathers. Mind you, it’s all with a certain Gilbert-esque quirkiness that, for some reason or another, you know is more about poking fun than starting beef. He’s a popular cat around the league and a known jokester, so the issue isn’t that he’s a poor sportsman. It’s that he’s putting too much pressure on himself, especially after coming off of knee surgery, and drawing too much attention to his team, which hasn’t proved to shine under pressure in the past.

Going into the Celtics game, he “guaranteed” a win in Boston over the “old” Big Three, the kind of jive that obviously gets pounced on, regurgitated by the media, and relayed to fans. The Gahden was packed and it was pissed. For nearly three quarters, Gilbert was booed vigorously every time he touched the ball. With all the pomp and ceremony of christening the parquet floor with Red Auerbach‘s name, the emotional speech by Paul Pierce, and the packed seats eager to see KG, it was a playoff atmosphere in which Washington had no chance succeeding. It was game 2, Gilbert, let’s save the shit-talking for at least the second week, eh?

Make no mistake, though, the Wiz will get hot. They started off slow last year before finishing with the best record in the Eastern Conference before the All-Star break. The one positive so far has been the astonishing play of much-maligned center Brendan Haywood. He was leading the league in rebounds last week (he’s tied for 5th now), and he’s been a beast down low, finally showing his potential with Eddie Jordon giving him the minutes he’s been whining about not getting in past years. By the time Etan Thomas gets back from open-heart surgery, he may have lost his starting job. Fortunately for him, Andray Blatche still isn’t getting the minutes he needs to be effective.

In other Wizards news, Caron Butler was named team captain, which makes sense. While Jamison has always appeared to be the leader, I’m not so sure that was the case. Your Baltimore Bullets will continue their long break and take on the New Jersey Nets at 7:30EST on Thursday.

Jersey tidbit: One time I had to make a pit stop in Jersey. I took an exit off of the NJ Turnpike and, I kid you not, saw these three landmarks on the same road through my pollution-stung eyes, one after the other: landfill, factory, cemetery.

9 comments to Agent 0-3

  • Chris


    The Washington Gandalfs are gonna need a +15 Cloak of Protection with a +7 Mana enchant to even think about defeating the Nets.

  • Joe the Guy

    WTF Chris is that a warcraft reference? Is that allowed?

    I think you’re right DTM, Arenas is focusing too much on keeping the spotlight on him, mainly the silly jive talk of the blog

    When will sports stars in general realize that the best way to keep the spotlight on them is to perform well?

    Finally, in regards to spotlight hogs, can someone please change Don Shula’s diaper? He’s babbling like….welll…..an old man.

    His alzhiemer’s has clearly hit a new stage and someone should make sure all his credit cards are taken away as well…….

  • sci

    Sorry to change the subject, but I just read this paragraph in a SI.com article. Not that we want A-Rod, but this is incredibly depressing. Pretty much sums it up right now…

    • The Mets have hit home run after home run from a financial standpoint and are one of four teams that now has a regional sports network, the others being the Yankees, Red Sox and Orioles. The Yankees have publicly said they are out now that A-Rod has opted out (though some people still expect them to get back into it). The Red Sox are interested but one person familiar with their thinking thinks they’d only pounce if the price drops (a long shot). And while the Orioles are the team of A-Rod’s hero, Cal Ripken Jr., they are a perennial loser and border on irrelevant.

  • dan the man

    Irrelevant Loser is certainly harsh. But screw A-Rod. MacPhail has already smartly snuffed out any A-Rod/Orioles rumors. The number 1 most wrong thing the O’s could do right now would be to sink 1/3 of what the team is worth into one dude with purple lips.

    Asterisk on the Pats is a ridiculous comment. Out of line.

    How about that Miggi article today? Nobody wants a Miggi? I’m chalking it up as early hot stove no news news. The good news is that MacPhail isn’t even thinking free agents. He’s clearly all about blowing this team up with trades, and that makes me excited.

  • dan the man

    How have the Nets been so mediocre with that roster for all these years?

    And the Wiz will pwn you and your WOW references.

  • Chris

    oh yeah, DTM, nice George Carlin-esque NJ bit! How bout some jokes about hospital food or women drivers?

    Every state has factories and landfills. NJ just happened to put theirs right along the road that ferries north-bound traffic to the biggest city in the world.

    You don’t like New Jersey?! DON”T USE LIGHT BULBS!!!

    And Warcraft didn’t pioneer the use of enchants on armor and weaponry, you friggin’ dorks. It’s been around since the 1st generation of table-top RPGs. Duh.

  • dan the man

    Hahahaha well played, sir, well played.

  • Joe the Guy

    Arenas is very concerned about his blog, his newest blog is about how he wants to be voted #1 blog

    blog blog blog

    Wake up Gil, it’s time to play basketball…

  • Andrew in Rochester

    Wait, is it less geeky to play dungeons and dragons than it is to play world of warcraft?! awsome!!!!11111!