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Mouth-Off Oddsmaking

if i was a gambling manJust off the top of my head, the Orioles have had at least three of their players mouth off and embarass the team in the last twelve months. It started, of course, with Miguel Tejada last year, continued with Melvin Mora a few weeks ago, and culminated with Aubrey Huff‘s little incident the other day. Part of me thinks that there were even more of them that I’ve blocked out of my mind, but I’m not sure. Corrections/additions appreciated.

(As a quick aside, Wayward O has an interesting take on Huff. I’d agree with O if “horseshit town” wasn’t a part of it. But, you know, it was.)

It seems to be something of an epidemic around here, which can mean only one thing: it’s bound to happen again. So I put on my bettingman’s hat and started thinking about who might be next.

20-1 — Chad Bradford/Jamie Walker
They’re not one guy but they do seem to have one mind. The only reason their odds are so high is because they’re relatively new in town. Give it another year of losing and watch this one drop to, say, 3-1.

16-1 — Ramon Hernandez
I think Ramon is probably too busy sunning himself and downing Coors Light to remember — much less care — that he’s a member of the Orioles. But the potential is there, for sure.

10-1 — Jay Payton
His odds would be higher but I have a feeling he’s probably just done with the whole mess. Mouthing off would take too much effort.

10-1 — Mora again
And his odds would be higher if he hadn’t already done it. I don’t think Melvin could manage again so soon, even if he is crazy (bonus points to anyone who catches that one).

9-2 — Brian Roberts
We all know Brian’s a good guy and not one to rock the boat. We also know that he is fruss-tuh-rated. It could happen.

5-1 — Jay Gibbons
Gibby’s in no position to mouth off, but doesn’t it seem like he’d do it anyway under the right circumstances?

3-1 — Tejada Again
Tejada is a race car in the red, and, Jules, it’s dangerous to have a race car in the red. Nobody should be surprised if Tejada blows up again before March 31st (the odds flip to 1-3 if he gets traded and has a chance to vent).

3-2 — Erik Bedard
Combine Erik’s inherently mercurial nature with his heavy disdain for the media and you have one potentially ugly situation. All we need is for some beat writer to call at the wrong moment after Erik just spent a day catching trout with his bare hands, and voila: controversy.

That said, I love the guy and I wish he could stay a Baltimore Oriole for the rest of his days. I’m just being realistic.

Or maybe this is all quite silly because Andy MacPhail really is the new Sherrifintown, and he’s not going to stand for this nonsense. You never know.

26 comments to Mouth-Off Oddsmaking

  • Chris

    i’m gonna go with the blackened catfish, man, with these spices….

  • neal s

    Sauteed with ciLAHntro…

  • If someone calls you a horse’s ass, and you’re demonstrably not a horse’s ass, then you tend to just kind of go, “yeah, whatever. Have another.”

    But if someone calls you a horse’s ass, and you actually ARE a horse’s ass — or you’re not quite sure but you may very well be a horse’s ass — there is a much stronger possibility you will get bent out of shape.

    To put it another way, Aubrey’s in vino veritas moment touches a nerve because in some ways Baltimore resembles his remark. And if you want to get all mad about it, fine, but you just have to look around at the city and the truth is there. All you have to do is turn the wrong corner if you’re out in Crabtown and all of a sudden you’re not in f@ckin Kansas anymore.

    Not. Good.

    Irrevocably broken? No. But definitely problematic.

    Not unlike our Os.

  • neal s

    But wait! Some good has come from this after all: the boys at WNST have broken their Deadspin link cherry!

    Hearty congratulations to Drew/Nestor/Rob etc, and I’m not even being sarcastic. They’re pretty green when it comes to new media, and they don’t really have it figured out yet. Getting coveted Deadspin ink is a nice step forward.

  • Joe the Guy

    I’m selling wayward’s “If you’re offended then he must be right” theory.

    Way off. It doesn’t matter wether we’re offended or not. It really has nothing to do with the city. He could have been talking about anything.

    I say the broken rule here is “Put Up or Shut Up”

    Curt Schilling laid it down this postseason, I hate the guy, but in my mind he gets a free offseason of blogging.

    Aubrey Huff has NEVER PUT UP ANYTHING and therefore should be lifting weights or in a batting cage…Something…ANYTHING to help this team, instead of jive-ing on the radio. Negative jive at that.

    You want negativity Aubrey?

    How did you scam us out of 20 million dollars? You’re the most anoymous and mediocre player ever.

    You’re a nothing of a nobody from nowhere. You’ll be selling Toyota’s in just a few short years, as Bedard and Markakis lead this team to Glory.

    “I was a major league player once, even hit for the cycle this one game…in some horseshit city I vaguely remember being run out of…”

    Gilbert hasn’t put up ANYTHING this season – he also needs to shup up and have his blogging privileges revoked.

  • Andrew in Rochester

    I’m selling it, too. I don’t get upset when I watch The Wire or Homicide. I have another good analogy for wayward o. When I’m out and about on the sunny, brick infested campus of the Rochester Institute of Technology, where there are literally hundreds of Pink Hats – and I mean actual fake Red Sox fans who don’t even know who Coco Crisp is I shit you not – I get a ton of “Orioles? Are you kidding me?! Orioles suck!” and I go, “Yeah whatever. Have another.” It doesn’t offend me, even if it’s true. I’m well versed on Baltimore’s failings as a city and as a nightlife scene compared to Las Vegas. That doesn’t bother me.

    What bothers me is that someone representing the franchise, who should be promoting and working out and trying to not get off to a slow start next year, comes out and just destroys his fanbase – well, that’s offensive. I mean, if Brian Roberts comes out next week and screams that he hates Japanese people on his radio show next week do we say “Well, free speech – you can hate or like whoever you want, B-Rob.” If he says Japanese people only want to build giant ninja robots and a Japanese man is offended by that, do you say, “Well, you must want to build robots, otherwise it wouldn’t bother you.”

    Of course not. That’s ridiculous.

    I agree with you, O, that ball players who have personalties are more fun, and the old school hot dogs and beer personalties are the best. If Aubrey Huff wants to hang out at Pickles and the Wharf Rat whenever he isn’t masturbating with Tike Redman in the batting cages – I say awesome. Do it for hours. There’s a real man. But to come out and share your feelings of the collective horseshittiness of your fanbase – to say that I’m horseshit – that’s fucking unforgivable (without, say, 30 home runs).

  • neal s

    If he says Japanese people only want to build giant ninja robots and a Japanese man is offended by that, do you say, “Well, you must want to build robots, otherwise it wouldn’t bother you.”

    Andrew, you’ve just won a free main page post of your own on a topic of your choosing.

  • Andrew in Rochester

    YES! I’m gonna save it for something good though.

  • Joe the Guy

    pretty cool Andy…you should definetly save it for a baseball post…


  • Andrew in Rochester

    I believe I will, when it becomes relevant again (so…probably in like 4 or 5 months..but I won’t forget about it).

    Meanwhile, Sabathia wins the Cy Young with someone named “Eric Bedard”, who apparently plays on this very Orioles team, coming in a distant 5th tied with one Johan Santana, among others. Very interesting, though I am disappointed that Erik Bedard didn’t make the cut. I’m sure he isn’t though.

  • Joe the Guy

    AiR – I actually feel mild to moderate satisfaction that Bedard is in this group of “One-Votes” with Halladay, Santana and Verlander. He belongs in that group, yet he only deserves minimal recognition, which is exactly what he got.

    Someone tell Neal to throw the LC beacon onto the skies of Baltimore and alert Dan The Guy that the Wizards aren’t making the playoffs….

    I picked the Wizards to miss the playoffs for three reasons: Gilbert Arenas’ lingering knee problems, an improved Eastern Conference, and contract years for two of their top three (Arenas and Antawn Jamison). You know what happens when two of the three best guys on a struggling team are in contract years? Everyone starts gunning for their own stats and the situation turns nastier than the first 30 minutes of “Eddie” right before Whoopi Goldberg took over. And even then, you might be able to get away with some selfishness as long as everyone’s playing defense, but the Wiz have been abysmal defensively for three years and counting. So what’s left? Why does anyone think this is a playoff team?

    (from latest simmons article)

  • sci

    Simmons is saying the Wiz are one of the five or six worst teams in the league. This is after they were on top of the entire East around the midway point of last year, then lost nobody in the offseason. Absolutely absurd. They may not make the playoffs (I still think they will), but they will win 40-45 games. If Gil is hurt for the whole year, as he is now, it may be a different story, but I think he’ll improve as the year goes on.

  • I mailed that shit to Deadspin.

    I’m not sure where the racism angle plays into this … but keep high-fiving each other!!!!

  • neal s

    Don’t be a dick.

  • Joe the Guy

    typical t.w.o.

    i dig your blog. i generally dig your posts. i appreciate you spreading the love to someplace like deadspin, neal obviously does too.

    but if someone EVER disagrees, or, gasp!, disproves the point your trying to make:

    you either start to run laps around the real issue (like the racism blurb above) and/or leave super short cranky remarks (keep high fiving each other!!!)

    andrew wasn’t being racist but he DID explain how silly your comment was.

    We’re saying it’s NOT about Aubrey’s comments
    (literally) but the principle that shitty players from shitty teams should be silently preparing for next season instead of blogging/doing interviews etc…

    agree / disagree ?

  • Big Ben's Motorcycle

    hahaha the wayward o is ann coulter with a dick (i think?)

    you are wayward son.

    stop taking your impressions from police drama shows. if we want to stereotype anybody, let’s stereotype aubrey huff as the typical meat-head ballplayer that he is.

  • df1570

    The Orioles are actively trying to move Aubrey Huff. The issue, obviously, is salary. He made $4 mil last season, is on the books for $8mil next year and $9mil in ’09. No one wants a $17 million dollar employee who openly boasts of jacking off instead of going to the gym or watching video of opposing pitchers.

    The O’s are actually so outraged they’re trying to MOVE him!

    That’s how “acceptable” it is to them that one of their players was involved in a 90-minute soft-porn production.

    I can’t believe I’m saying this. But Huff has scarred even the Orioles and their low standard of professionalism.

    Holy hell, there might be hope after all.

  • Andrew in Rochester

    That’s good, good news Drew – even if it probably doesn’t amount to much of anything besides hostility between Huff and MacPhail.

    And now I have to take back that whole Orioles can do no good thing I said. Sorry.

  • dan the man

    The one time O breaks his cardinal rule and writes a text block, he gets slammed, heh… Look, every Baltimorean knows Baltimore has its problems. But jesus, that’s every fucking city in the country. Is Baltimore more of a horseshit town than Fort Lauderdale? Or Pittsburgh? Is New York perfect? Far from it. Let’s hope Aubrey doesn’t ever play for the Sox because the bars in Boston close at like 10. I agree that the point isn’t what he said (we’ve all likely talked shit on our own city before), but that he said anything at all when he’s a shitty ballplayer.

    Wayward, you would rather defend a here-today-gone-tomorrow Oriole player than the city the team plays in? Aubrey Huff? He can say whatever he wants if it means we don’t have to watch him strikeout on curveballs anymore.

    @ the Wizards: How are they NOT a playoff team? They’ve been a perennial playoff team with a worse roster. Gilbert and Caron were both out with injuries for the playoffs last year. Nothing has changed about this team except for losing Jarvis Hayes, and Nick Young could easily match his numbers from last year with enough playing time. I like Simmons, but I’m selling that.

  • neal s

    Let’s bring this back to the issue at hand, which is Huff and the O’s.

    So he’s due $17 mil for the next two years. During that time he’s likely to be good for about 18 HR, 80 RBI, and some fair defensive play at either 1B or 3B (on average).

    Nobody needs that production at that price. BUT…they might need that production at, say, two-thirds of that price. MacPhail might very well be able to obtain some legit A or AA prospects if we promise to also hold onto a chunk of the $$$.

    We all know that trading for A or AA prospects is risky. The key is that other teams know it too, and are often willing to gamble. We might very well find a diamond if we dump Huff to the highest bidder.

    And if we don’t? Well, fuck it. It’s not like he’s part of the long-term solution.

  • Getting slammed I don’t mind but your inability to reason makes me sad for y’all.

    For example, there is nothing in the Huff saga that begs the use of a racism analogy. Nor does the analogy about the Japanese man disprove anything I said except to muddy the issue. And yet you’re all dancing around high-fiving each other as if it does. I kind of thought ya’ll were smarter than that but … maybe not.

    Even worse — you guys think I’m saying someone is racist simply for faulting said analogy. WTF? Completely out of control. I didn’t bring up race, someone else did … I’m simply saying the analogy doesn’t work.

    Then, I get called a “dick” and “Ann Coulter.” Which just further proves my point that I’m not the one bring this crap into the discussion.

    Worse still, when I bring up the fact that Baltimore has its problems, I hear about “the Wire” and “Homicide,” as if that’s somehow relevant to the fact that most of us who are, I guess, actually from there have horror stories about Balto. crime. Andrew, I’m glad for you that the greatest crime you’ve witnessed are ppl wearing Pink Red Sox hats. I wouldn’t move to Balto. if I were you … that will change fast.

    Lastly, and most important, if you’ve ever had a few drinks and slapped yourself on the forehead in the morning after you remembered what you happen to have said, then you really don’t have much in the way of Moral High Ground to take about Huff. But I guess that’s not stopping anybody. Maybe nobody on this blog ever did that. Somehow I seriously doubt it.

    Yeah, Huff’s in trouble with the Os now. I hope y’all are happy. MacPhail I’m sure would have loved to have let it all slide but for the blood in the water being stirred up. Maybe the Os will turn into a God squad like the Rangers … than you will all be happy, I guess.

    Very, very disappointing and sad for this page.

  • neal s

    Whatever man. This discussion isn’t going anywhere (anywhere good, at least).

    Let’s all just shake (virtual) hands and move on, dig?

  • Andrew in Rochester

    Yeah, O, if I offended, that wasn’t my point – certainly I don’t know how anyone got called racist – no hard feelings (that’s what she said).

    I will issue rebuttal, mostly because my psyche requires me to be the last one to speak (but I’m working on it).

    Huff did specifically say, “I’m not drunk. This is my personality, motherfucker!” and besides – you aren’t allowed to be drunk on the radio, as per FCC regulations. Seems like he probably just got carried away with himself.

    I go to college in Rochester, I’m from Baltimore City. My family moved to York County to get away from those horror stories that I know all to well about. But, I really doubt that they’re any worst than any other major US city like LA, or New York, or Chicago – and in fact Rochester is no picnic either, with its highest per capita murder rate in New York and it’s overwhelming poverty.

    My final point, for your consideration, is that if we say “whatever Aubrey, you were having a good time” do we not therefore also have to be okay with Kevin Millar going up and having a good time yukking it up in Boston – and I know some of you are? And if we’re okay with Millar and Huff pandering and having a good time because they’re allowed to be human, don’t we also have to be okay with Mike Mussina being a Yankee – he just wanted to win and get paid, like any normal guy?

    Anyway, sorry I offended you, O; you’re one of the good ones (not like that Neal character)

  • dan the man

    god squad?

    i just want the o’s to shut up and not bring attention to themselves. drink, fuck, masturbate, steal, bribe, cheat, use drugs – fine. just stay out of the press and shut your mouth about it. stop being the laughing stock of baseball. if we’re winning and huff says some dumb shit, no one is going to care. but you better believe after 10 years of negative press and scandal that fans will be pissed at huff. but it’s done, whatever. it’s kind of funny, but he still deserves some public slandering on blogs.

  • Joe the Guy

    Carry on my wayward son, there will be peace when you are done:

    “Yeah, Huff’s in trouble with the Os now. I hope y’all are happy. MacPhail I’m sure would have loved to have let it all slide but for the blood in the water being stirred up.”

    Do you honestly believe that? Well, just in case he does base his decisions on blogs from random people….

    Dear Andy –

    I’ve been a really good boy this year. I posted regularly and tried to stay positive even when this team hit the rocks. I’ve been working full time to save up money for tickets next season. Me and my friends really don’t want you to trade Bedard. All we want for Christmas is you to trade Aubrey Huff and/or Tejada to anyone but the Yanks.

    Joe the Guy