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Wake Me Up and Kill Me

baltimore orioles disasterGive Joe Angel credit. Round about the time the Rays scored their 45th run tonight, Angel actually said “I can’t take this nightmare any longer…wake me up and kill me.” I’m not sure a hundred Shakespeares could say it better.

For anyone who thinks I’m too positive, or that I don’t criticize the team when it’s warranted, or that I’m an apologist, here you go: this is inexcusable. There’s no massaging it, no explaining it away, no finding the good amidst the bad.

It’s not about tonight. Under normal circumstances a game like this could be excused as “just one of those games.” Uh-uh. This makes five games on the current home stand (including the 30-3 debacle) in which the O’s had the lead and still ended up losing. That, folks, qualifies as a pattern.

Who plays on this team? Are we dealing with men here? Are we dealing with men who take pride in their work and feel shame when they fail? Who are these people?

To be fair, the bullpen was overworked under Sam Perlozzo and the fallout is catching up. That’s a fact. But there comes a time for accountability, and this is that time.

Andy MacPhail and DT deserve a chance to show what they can do. It’ll be awhile before we know what’s what with them. Until then, I’m putting it on the players.

The name on the front of the jersey (whether or not it says “Baltimore”) means a hell of a lot more than the name on the back. So from here on out, I’m looking for one thing and one thing only: pride. That means hard work, execution, and passion. The rest of this season is an audition, and I will hate relentlessly on every single player who dogs it from here to there.


15 comments to Wake Me Up and Kill Me

  • sci

    Disgusting is the right word. This team is a punchline right now and the players need to suck it up and show some pride.

    Homeruns and a decent outing by Cabrera do not make up for giving up 11 runs in an inning. It’s flat out embarrassing.

  • Andrew in Rochester

    Here’s what we need to do. On September 1st when rosters expand, shut down Chadford and Jamie Walker for the rest of the week except for perhaps once or twice a week tops – they’re overworked and there’s no need to keep throwing them out there. Give them the month off so they can come back super fresh next year. Fill the bullpen with Liz, Johnson, Burres, Bell, Baez, Hoey, Penn, Wright, and even Cory Doyne. Just throw these rookies out there to get them experience and give Trembley more options. Let Trembley figure out who’s going to be the closer next year and give him and MacPhail a good chance to see just what they’ve got from all of these guys, who all figure to be part of the future. Some of them are going to be terrible (paging Jaret Wright) but we’ve got to do something to preserve Walker and Chadford and to figure out how to get guys fucking out already.

  • sci

    I’m up for anything that lets them figure out who is worth keeping, not just talent-wise but character-wise. These late season swoons HAVE to end. It’s just pathetic.

  • Andrew in Rochester

    At least we can say, without doubt, that our issues are easy to see – outfield, third base, bullpen. You’ve got to believe that we can put together an outstanding bullpen from all of our minor league talent and existing talent. I don’t know what’s wrong with Chad, Hoey or Burres right now, but we know they’re good pitchers. We’ve seen what they’re capable of. I imagine Radhames Liz would be pretty awesome in 1 inning or 2 inning doses. The knock on him is a poor breaking ball, right? Well, he wouldn’t need it with his fastball as a late-inning guy or closer. We’re stuck with Baez, but he’s actually been pretty good when he’s been given non-pressure situations (though that makes me pretty useless in the bullpen…).

    I forgot about Fernando Cabrera and Kurt Birkins, too…but I don’t know how good they’re gonna be.

    What a mess.

  • sci

    If Ramon doesn’t turn it around then we’ve got a major hole at catcher next year too. (And until Wieters is ready.) So that makes the issues: LF, CF, C, 3B, bullpen. And those are just the major issues. Plenty of other minor holes.

    And trade Trax already, for anything. I like him, but what’s the point?

  • dan the man

    Both the history of late-season losing streaks and the sheer amount of runs this bullpen is giving up is nothing short of phenomenal. It’s a phenomenon. It’s historic. “It’s embarassing. It’s not good,” as Roberts said.

    One sadistic part of me is glad this is all happening. Just in case Andy MacPhail didn’t exactly know what the real deal in Baltimore was. Sure, he knew they didn’t have winning seasons. But did he know about the heart-breaking and absurd ways those losses came about? Did he know about the backlash from fans? The curse that’s on this baseball team? Doubtful. Now you know, Andy. Please help this city.

    Then after my sadistic side subsides, I get worried. About Brian Roberts and Erik Bedard. If this team doesn’t win next year, they are gone. Absolutely no question. If this shit happens again, it’s over. Goodbye exciting, base-stealing, slugging leadoff man. Goodbye strikeout phenom ace pitcher. Hello, uh… wait, hello NOBODY because no one in their right mind would sign up to play baseball in Baltimore, where your home runs don’t matter, where you can hit 6 home runs, score 8 runs, and LOSE BY SEVEN. Where no matter how good of a relief pitcher you may be, you won’t be one in Baltimore for some mystical reason yet to be figured out. Where you can be the best pitching coach in all of baseball, but you still can’t get a one-inning reliever to get three outs without letting up 5 runs. Where a guy like Brian Burres can win 5 clutch games as an emergency starter, shut out the Yankees over 6 innings, and then a month later get hammered for 11 runs over two-thirds of an inning in two games.

    I mean, what the shit?

  • dan the man

    Not to mention where you can have TWO 7-game losing steaks AT HOME.




    Involving the Nationals, the Rangers, and the Devil Rays.

    Do we all send an apology card to Sam Perlozzo? Signed, The Loss Column commenters. “We’re sorry for doubting you, Sam. You may have mishandled the bullpen, but it clearly doesn’t matter who’s running the show here. The players and fans now know no matter what is done, this city’s baseball team will forever be a AAAA team with a sadistic penchant for finding epicly depressing ways to lose at the game of baseball. We’re sorry for spit-roasting you on the internet. You’re just another good guy running a bad baseball team.”

  • dan the man

    Side note: The number of comments on that last Bill Hagy post is fittingly 34.

  • df1570

    Even more sad than that note about the Hagy thread is the fact there’s a really good chance the O’s will give up 34 runs in Boston this weekend.

  • Andrew in Rochester

    Even MORE sad is Erik Bedard injured. I’m just gonna turn the gas on in my oven and leave the door open. Talk to y’all after dinner.

  • Make that 44 runs allowed in Boston this weekend.

    I’m hearing Bedard will miss his next start with a strained obligue.

    Liz on Friday, Olson on Saturday.

    Oh boy…

  • Andrew in Rochester

    well, drew, at least we’ll shut them out twice and take the series then.

  • Big Ben's Motorcycle

    That Joe Angel line made me chuckle a few times today. So we got that goin’ for us…

  • dan the man

    When will Miguel Tejada stop trying to go first to third?

    Poor Dave, man. Poor Dave…

    What a piece of shit this team is.

  • Andrew in Rochester

    Right after Freddie stops getting picked off. Worst. Pinch-runner. Ever.