The Loss Column — Baltimore Sports Blog and Community

Well it looks like the ’76 Buccaneers can rest easy thanks to Kyle and the gang. Before I get into this, though, I have to say I had a lot of people tell me how mean and harsh I was to the Ravens last week. It was the first thing people said to me when the Ravens came up. So I apologize if I offended anybody.

Oh, and by the way this is football and the Ravens are terrible … man up. If you want me to be nice and cuddly, check out my squash blog at www.elimanninglovessquash.com.

Anyway, I had the pleasure of watching yesterday’s debacle with one of those rare Miami Dolphins fans. Before the game I really felt bad for the guy. I can’t imagine my team losing every game since the start of the year. I don’t think I would even be able to watch football by week 10 but this guy was into it. I felt for him and if it was any other team that he was up against yesterday, I would’ve been pulling for him.

Just like my friend the fins fan, the Dolphins, or what’s left of them, were up for this game. They played like they were clinching a playoff berth. They played for pure respect and when they won, for them, it was almost as big as a playoff win. It’s all a matter of perspective. I think that’s how my friend felt too, and we as Ravens fans may take that for granted sometimes. I know I do (see the first paragraph).

Yes, this season is a loss but we are not the worst team in the NFL and we haven’t been. Remember the Patriots of old, circa 1980s or the Buccaneers of the ’70s? We are pretty much a .500 team over the 12 years we’ve been around. It could be better, but it could also be worse. Much worse. Like 1-14 worse.

A word on our quarterback situation. I think the Ravens’ quarterback just secured the #1 slot on worst job list in America yesterday. Poor Kyle Boller got the shit kicked out of him. Even Willis McGahee was knocked around a bit. Was the offensive line on strike? Did I miss something?

You know what Cam Cameron has that Brian Billick doesn’t? Testicular fortitude. Why Billick didn’t go for the end zone on that last 4th-and-goal play I will never understand. He had nothing to lose. I would rather lose by going for it and failing then watch Stover shank the hell out of a no-brainer and see Cleo Lemon suddenly realize that he should throw the ball because we have no defensive backs.

Thank God it took Cleo until OT to realize we had no way of covering any of his receivers. Otherwise this game would have been a rout.

So there we have it — we’ve sunk to almost the lowest low. Last place in our division, beat by the team that couldn’t beat anybody — does it get any lower? I can think of only one way. Losing to Shittsburgh at home. It sends shivers up my spine.

(Photo by Doug Benc/Getty Images, swiped from nfl.com)

There are not too many good things you can say about getting steam rolled by the Chargers yesterday, so I’ll start with an observation about Phillip Rivers. He had a great day yesterday. Good for him. He is a complete asshole.

Now, I know some of you are going to say that I am being a sore loser. Believe me I am not a sore loser. I took yesterday’s loss extremely well. I only punted one beer can at the TV. A stellar day at the Justin household.

Back to Rivers. I’ve always heard he’s a dick but I’ve never actually seen him play on TV. They cut to him on the sidelines a lot and it seems he is always either grab-assing with the backup QBs or trying to complain to whatever referee will listen. He is ear-fucking every man in stripes that comes within five feet of him.

What is he complaining about? I’m not sure, but I would guess he feels he is being beat up a little too much after he releases the ball. That’s where the smart money is. Apparently this is what Phillip Rivers does.

Another thing about Phillip Rivers: When he gets booed he tells the fans to “Shut up.” I don’t know how I feel about fans booing their teams. I know it happens in Baltimore a lot, and sometimes I understand it and sometimes I don’t. I will say this: I will never agree with a player who screams like a maniac for the fans to shut up and then runs to the sidelines berating the fans after throwing a TD. I don’t think this is a double standard. The fans are the entire reason that players have jobs, and, guess what? Being an NFL fan is expensive. Especially if you are fortunate enough to go to a game. So Phillip Rivers…fuck you.

Onto the Ravens. The mistakes were painfully obvious yesterday so I won’t go into to much detail.

Samari Rolle: Thanks for gracing us with your presence. Hopefully next week you’ll raise your game even more and cover someone. That Tom Brady likes to throw.

To the Ravens receivers, secondary and special teams: Anyone who has any opportunity to come in contact with the ball, for every ball that hits your hands and you actually catch, I will personally give you a dollar. That may not be much for these guys, but I feel as though they have no incentive as of right now.

The Chargers completely tore apart our secondary. Everyone was getting burned. There was no semblance of coverage.

I thought Kyle Boller did OK yesterday. Maybe it’s the beard? When he actually had a second or two before the entire Charger front line was in his face, he made some great throws. That said, he got killed most of the time. The hit he took on the roughing the passer call was probably the weakest hit he felt all day.

At some point we all have to admit to ourselves that the problem with our offense begins and ends at the line of scrimmage. No QB would be doing well behind this offensive line.

Looking forward, we have the Patty’s coming to B-more on Monday night. The Eagles showed everyone last night that there are ways to beat the Patriots. You have to look in the middle of their secondary for holes. You have to shut down Randy Moss and keep Wes Welker in check. Most importantly, you have to play like you have a pair. You have to take the big risks. The Ravens have nothing to lose. They need to play like it. The only thing that could redeem this season for me as a fan would be to see the Ravens ruin the Patriots perfect season. Can it happen? Ask Philadelphia.

(Photo by Donald Miralle/Getty Images, swiped from nfl.com)

I decided yesterday as I was walking into the stadium that no matter what, I was just going to have fun at the game. I was sick of beating my head against the wall and I was going to take it easy. Calm as a Hindu cow. All I wanted was to see an actual contest. A close game, and for my sins they gave me one.

Attempting to be a Zen master was rather difficult during the first half. I attempted to keep track of Kyle Boller, and up until the two minute warning in the second quarter he had made only one completion, well only one to a Raven. The offense had put together a whole seven yards. This made it easy to stat track if you were mildly inebriated, as I was.

So the first half wound down, aside a great interception by Ray Lewis, which he took to the house, there wasn’t much else to cheer about. Things were not well for the Ravens. You know it was so awkward watching the game yesterday and thinking that if the Ravens beat the Browns it would be an upset.

Browns? Upset?

These are very strange times. Usually you look at the schedule and see the Browns at home and you think “Oh, that’s a gimme” but all over the AFC north teams are legitimately scared of Romeo and the Brownies. Even Shittsburgh was given a scare. Very weird.

Now I haven’t seen any video of the team that came out onto the field to play the second half for the Ravens but I think it was actually the Florida Gators offense in our uniforms. I think Tim “Teabag” Tebow was actually under center. Whatever the hell happened at halftime should happen always, before every game, at every break. The Ravens in the second half actually looked like an NFL team. The third quarter started with a bang up 75-yard drive that looked good and then, of course the Browns spent the rest of the quarter righting the universe and stomping our ass. No thanks to special teams on this one.

On a side note: Every single member of the special teams (who is not vital on offense or defense, Ed Reed) should be round up and summarily slaughtered. Here’s a tip: Stop kicking the ball right down the middle to Joshua Cribbs every time. Frank Gansz Jr. should be quartered before the game against the Patriots and then his body should be turned into chum and fed to the defense. When you give the Browns the ball and only 40 yards between them and the end zone, bad things will happen. The special teams play and the turnovers were the biggest factors in this loss. I am so goddamn sick of saying that.

But back to the Zen master effect. So as I’m sure you all know, the whole stadium thought that the Brownies missed their game-tying field goal and lost the game. When I say everyone in the stadium, I mean everyone. Including the officials led by Pete Morelli, who is now up there with Richie Garcia as the biggest officiating asshole in the Baltimore sports pantheon. I don’t know how their conversation went, because — like everyone else — I was celebrating the win with 70, 000 of my closest friends while leaving the stadium.

When I got to the lower level I heard the remaining fans go bullshit and that’s when I walked back in to witness the heartbreaker that will go down as a big loss and the death rattle of the 2007 season. Yes I understand that the officials got the call right, but they broke NFL rules to get there. I’ll accept the loss because I am now officially a Zen fucking master but there are ways to do things and there are ways not to. If I broke the rules to hide the fact that I just totally fucked up the job I am paid to do, then I would be shit-canned. Take note Mr. Commissioner.

So there you have it. The Ravens proved last night that they are in fact the worst team in the division by losing to the worst team in the division. This loss gives any playoff hopes a square kick in the junk.

Where do we go from here? I think the Ravens should let it all hang out – for the remainder of the season. If Brian Billick doesn’t start Kyle Boller for the rest of the year, he should find somewhere else to coach next year. I love the guy, but it’s time to put Boller in the position to do what Billick has claimed he can do for all of these years. Just let Kyle Boller play. No matter what. Get the kid some more experience. Let him grow with this young offensive line.

Steve McNair should plant his broken ass on the bench. I love McNair and I can’t thank him enough for giving us the spark we needed last year, but enough is enough. Steve McNair is done. Troy Smith should plant his ass right next to McNair and be on him the rest of the year. We’ve all seen what McNair did with Vince Young. I think Troy Smith is a much better athlete than Young and there are only a few NFL players who can cultivate Smith’s style properly.

The Ravens defense is obviously declining. We’re as deep as a puddle in our secondary. That said, I think they held their own against Carson Palmer and company. The Bengals go to show you that you can have a great quarterback and receiving corps and STILL win without scoring a single TD.

The Ravens need some off-season help with this defense. The NFL pendulum is swinging back towards offense in terms of importance in the NFL. Defense may get you to the playoffs, but it won’t win the playoffs. The bottom line is always this: if you don’t score points and can’t hold onto the ball, you will lose.

I know, I know, no shit.

I like Willis McGahee. I think he is having a career year and if our offense can become two-dimensional and get the passing game to spread the field a bit more, McGahee will only improve. He has one fatal flaw (which I think is a disease in the Ravens locker room): he can’t hold onto the ball. He needs to rent The Program and follow James Caan’s “No Fumble Plan” step by step. If Omar Epps can do it, so can Willis.

Lastly, special teams. Holy Hell. Just get rid of them all. I pray for B.J. Sams to able to make it to the bye week next season and axe the rest. The field goal unit needs a massive overhaul. If someone kicks 7 field goals a game, then just by sheer odds you should be able to get a finger on one! Bush League.

Well thanks for tuning into to my diarrhea of a blog again this week. I look forward to your comments. We get Cleveland at home next, a game that I still think we can win, and then a river of shit after that. Until then…

(Photo by Doug Pensinger/Getty Images, swiped from nfl.com)

Baseball is a nasty mistress, and Mets fan is in a bad place.

Willie Randolph’s boys were up in the division by seven games just 18 days ago. They managed to squander both that lead and a shot at the Wild Card, and in doing so managed a collapse of epic proportions.

As much as the Orioles have damaged us this year, at least they didn’t pull a move like that.

It’s hardly a point of pride. At 69-93, the O’s have finished the 2007 season as the third-worst team in baseball, tied for that honor with Kansas City. Only the Pittsburgh Pirates (68-94) and Tampa Bay Devil Rays (66-96) managed to do worse.

But the hammer is the hammer. The O’s are the same as the Mets. The same as the White Sox, Mariners, Braves, Astros, and Dodgers…in a sense. Which is to say, Ichiro and Mark Teixeira are going home early just the same way as Nick Markakis and Brian Roberts.

I think one thing is abundantly clear: the Orioles we see now don’t look a damn thing like the Orioles we’ll see come April. Miguel Tejada will probably be gone. Brian Roberts as well, if Drew’s inside info is correct. And if Andy MacPhail does what we all expect him to do then those will be only the two most visible and stirring of a host of moves designed to rebuild this team into a contender.

We’ll talk more football tomorrow. Right now I’m honestly just a little stunned that this is it. The Orioles have sucked again. Failed again. Let us down again.

And yet, I still love that bird and those colors.

We’re now five months away from spring training. The Loss Column will spend that time talking baseball playoffs, the World Series, Ravens, Terps, Wizards, Redskins, the Hot Stove season, and whatever else comes up. We’ll do it all with smarts and perspective.

Which is to say, don’t go nowhere.

(pic from this site)

I titled the last post “Drive the Point Home” because of the statistic with which I led it. Little did I know, Tampa would take the notion and run with it. They drove the point home to the tune of 17 runs.

My life is words. Whether or not you get a sense of it here — I’d like to think you do — I’m a pretty good writer. But I’m not sure a Frankenstein’s monster with Hemingway’s experience, Gammons‘ baseball knowledge, Joyce’s gift for prose, and Hunter S. Thompson’s appreciation of the absurd could manage to find sufficient words to explain what has happened with this team.

30-3, 9-7, 5-2, 7-4, 8-1, 11-3, 15-8, 5-4, 8-6, 8-9 (win!), 10-0, 3-2, 9-7, 4-8 (win!), 17-2.

I had it in the back of my mind that the 4-32 stretch with which we closed the ‘02 season was as bad as it could ever get. Not by a long shot.

The 2007 Baltimore Orioles are the most hopeless, futile, snake-bitten, ragtag bunch of underachievers in the history of baseball. Take a look at this 2005 Sports Illustrated list of the worst teams in history. Records aside, I don’t see anything worse than what we’ve got.

Why? Because losing is one thing, and losing in epic, demoralizing fashion is quite another. You can appreciate a loser. You can even, under the right circumstances, get behind a loser. But you can neither appreciate nor get behind a group that consistently loses the way these guys do it.

There’s little to love. Their two most exciting and intriguing players — Erik Bedard and Nick Markakis — go about their business in stoic fashion. That’s kind of awesome in my book, but it doesn’t offer much to warm the heart. Their most colorful and vocal leader, Kevin Millar, doesn’t have enough baseball talent to do it all himself. Their most bankable stars, Miguel Tejada and Melvin Mora, have all but given up.

Only a torrid late-season run (and I’m talking wins at a .650 clip) could come close to redeeming this season. Failing that, we have but one solution: complete offseason overhaul.

I’m talking about trading Tejada and Mora (who, I’d imagine, will have no problem relinquishing his no-trade protection). I’m talking about taking offers on Roberts and, yes, Bedard. I’m talking about ridding this team of every last scrap of the past ten years of futility.

The future is Matt Wieters, Billy Rowell, Brandon Snyder, and the guys we get in those trades. It’s guys who aren’t part of the losing culture.

This approach might mean more losses next year. It might mean two or three last-place finishes.

But tell the truth: wouldn’t you take it at this point in exchange for a clean break?

The Yankees are in town for three, and that means the Invasion has already begun.

There’s no need, that I can see, to rehash just how sad it is. No need to reiterate how painful it is to hear the stadium erupt when Derek Jeter makes a routine play. No need to…you get the idea.

But there is a need, still, to point out again that the blame for all of this is shared equally between the O’s organization and the fans themselves.

For the organization’s part, they’ve spent ten years creating this monster through sub-par teams and poor management on most levels. They deserve to be held accountable for it. But nothing about that fact excuses the apathy that has overtaken a once-pround fan base.

Orioles critics are happy to point out that they’ve become frustrated and disillusioned, that they’re angry with Peter Angelos and the folks he’s hired to run the team. Fair enough. But there’s something kind of sick about saying “well, this team hasn’t been good on any level for a long time so I’m just going to give up because they owe me better.” In most non-sports circles that way of thinking is called a character flaw.

Let’s be clear: fans who stop caring about the team during hard times aren’t fans at all. They’ll say they are, trotting out arguments like “I love this team but I can’t support them until they fix things.” They’ll say they’ve beeen “disrespected,” all the time failing to recognize that their own actions disrespect the team, the stadium, and the city.

Everyone knows that the Orioles need to rediscover their pride. But mature, adult individuals (and, hell, smart kids for that matter) recognize that doing the right thing isn’t contingent on reciprocation. You just keep doing it for no other reason than it is what it is: right. For anyone who identifies as a fan of the Baltimore Orioles that means supporting them in spite of their missteps. Not excusing those missteps, just supporting the team anyway and doing your part to help make things better.

I’m not begrudging anyone their feelings. For that matter, I don’t feel as if anyone is obligated to be a fan. If you believe you can no longer support the team, have at it. If you simply prefer football and/or the Ravens, godspeed. Just do the rest of us, and the city at large, a favor: stop claiming to care. Stop saying “I love them, but…” Stop lamenting the influx of Sox and Yankees fans and pretending it offends your sensibilities. You’ll feel better about yourself and the rest of us will know not to listen if you still feel inclined to talk. It’s a win-win.

Either that or wise up and join us on August 11th for the “Take Back the Yard” rally. We’ll be there whether the black-and-orange is 20 games under or fighting for a playoff spot. There may only be a handful of us, but we’ll be there. Just like those douchebag Yankees fans will be there for the next three days, cheering for a team that’s struggling to find .500 and has no legitmate shot at winning the division.

That gentleman to the left is Andy MacPhail, and as of this morning he’s the new chief operating officer of the Baltimore Orioles. The news arrives according to this report by Buster Olney.

What’s more, his first order of business appears to be setting up a meeting with Joe Girardi about taking over as manager, though no official change there has been made. No word, either, on the fortunes of Mike Flanagan or Jim Duquette.

MacPhail won two World Series championships as GM of the Twins (’87, ‘91) before guiding the Cubs for 12 years.

Thoughts?

Update: the Sun’s Dan Connolly and Jeff Zrebiec are reporting that Perlozzo is out and Dave Trembley will be the interim manager.

Update: the team has called a 1 pm press conference, presumably to explain how tough the decisions were and what a good man Perlozzo is. If we’re lucky, though, we’ll get some insight into the long-term plans.

Update: Mike Flanagan is at the mic, and it’s pretty anticlimactic. He’s telling us that “Dave (Trembley) deserves a chance, and we’re gonna play it that way.” He won’t address anything else, including the long-term plans.

One bit of news, though: Mazzone plans on staying for now. All the other coaches, too, which is a bit of a surprise. I think there’s another shoe waiting to drop somewhere.

Update: now that I think about it, the whole MacPhail thing seems a bit strange. Olney’s report is all anybody has to go on right now, and Flanagan won’t address it at the news conference. We might want to put an asterisk by that one.

Update: Dan Connolly has reported the MacPhail hiring.