The Loss Column — Baltimore Sports Blog and Community

Congratulations to Friend-of-The Loss Column Sara, who has claimed the coveted prize of bragging rights in our Bracket Bonanza. Nobody had Kansas — surprise — but her pick of Memphis was close enough.

Yours truly finished near the bottom, which will happen when you buy into misguided Big East hype and subsequently lose two of your Final Four teams in the second round.

But what a finish last night, no? How Memphis forgets to foul in that situation is beyond me, but it certainly made for great drama. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a title game quite like that before — in any sport.

– Speaking of prizes, some of you may be wondering what became of the Featured Comments Feature. It’ll be back either later today or tomorrow, but with different rules. I really like the idea of featuring comments because it highlights the strength of our growing community. I thought a small, token prize would be a nice gesture from me to you. I was sort of surprised when I got negative feedback on that notion, and then I was downright bothered when the prize started showing up as an object of ridicule in the comments themselves.

So, I ditched it.

From now on I’ll feature comments on a quasi-weekly basis for no reason other than to bring the best aspects of the discussions up to the front. That, I believe, is still very much worth doing.

– Lost in all of the Opening Day/5-game winning streak hype is the fact that our area has no fewer than three teams currently gearing up for a playoff push.

The Baltimore Blast open up their playoff series on Thursday at 1st Mariner Arena against the hated New Jersey Ironmen. The Washington Captials open up against the doubly hated Philadelphia Phlyers at home on Friday night. And, eventually, the Washington Wizards will themselves embark on a title quest.

All in all it’s a pretty exciting time, especially if your scope isn’t limited to just the Orioles and Ravens. And, really, it shouldn’t be.

– Finally, have you all heard about Muxtape yet? It’s so rad, especially for anyone who grew up actually making mix tapes. The only problem is it’ll probably get shut down in about ten minutes. In the meantime, though, head on over and have a listen to a few of my selections. Feel free to make your own and post links in the comments.

There are those who would argue that the Ravens‘ season is already over. I’m not yet among them, but I will go so far as to say that a loss today at home against the Browns would be devastating. And I more or less think it’s going to happen.

We know Cleveland is going to score, with Derek Anderson and Kellen Winslow and Braylon Edwards and Jamal Lewis. This much is for certain, even against a still-stout Baltimore D. So this game comes down to whether or not Kyle Boller can exploit Cleveland’s weaknesses and put up, say, 24 points or so.

The Steelers, meanwhile, travel to East Rufferford to take on a Jets team that is much better than their 1-8 record suggests. This is the definition of a “trap game”, and the Steelers will need to stay focused.

Cincy stays home to take on the Cardinals, and a win there could make for some momentum heading down the stretch.

The biggest grudge match of the week happens out in Dallas, where the Redskins will attempt to cast aside a nasty injury bug and reclaim their status as NFC East contenders.

And for those of you not into football: New England takes on Houston in the MLS Cup Finals (down at RFK if I’m not mistaken), and the NASCAR season wraps up in Miami with Jimmie Johnson your likely champion.

The floor’s wide open…

It’s that time of year again again. Leaves, Leafs, candy apples, Candy Samples, light wraps (including but not limited to shawls, tunics, neo-wimples, and jumpers), used Type O Negative CDs, Dane Cook, the farthest time from when employees of the PAAS corporation have to think about going back to work again, and best of all, gratuitous use of the suffix “-tober”.

The newest entry to the list (which previously included Z104.3 The Edge’s Rock-tober, Martin Yan’s Wok-tober, Bushwick Bill’s Glock-tober, The Dukes of Hazzard Appreciation Society’s Catherine Bach-tober, etc) comes to us from ESPN’s MLS Primetime Thursday. Yup, it’s “Socc-tober” according to Rob Stone (guy who used to play soccer and now just talks about it on the TV).

After proclaiming this newly crowned “–tober”, Rob went on the show us WHY the prefix “Socc-” is so apt. Apparently, this is when the MLS playoffs happen. And before the DC United v. ,b>Chicago Fire 1st leg match, we got the obligatory “Let’s try to rope in the folks who flipped to ESPN instinctively during a World Series commercial break” feature, which consisted of a comparative baseball/soccer montage: “We’ve got strikes, steals, and slides too!” No lie, that was an actually quote. Now the potential viewer is bored because he realizes it’s soccer (because there’s not that much scoring in soccer and excitement and intrigue only come with scoring and LOTS of it, see the NHL) on the other end of the spectrum, the dedicated soccer fan is insulted and embarrassed at the overt pandering to Joe Nascar.

Add this to the litany of poor marketing strategies the MLS/EPSN has rolled out in an attempt to snag new fans. Instead of marketing to the core audience who knows and faithfully follows the game, they continually choose to alienate that demographic with constant attempts to draw parallels to American sports (”They’re in the red zone!”, “We’re coming up on the 2 minute warning.”, “The attacking midfielder is like the quarterback of the team.”), and the continuous explanations of the rules and practices, made famous by Dave O’Brien and his “This is an example of the spirit of the game!”, uttered every time a ball is purposefully played into touch while an opposing player is injured. That’s American soccer coverage: plenty of dumbin’ it down, hypin’ it up, and Sierra Mist.

The ESPN Thursday night MLS team had previously injected some insta-cred by including international soccer mainstay, the leprechaunish Tommy Smyth, whose catch phrase “bulge in the ol’ onion sack” is the comedy gold at the end of a dreary American soccer commentator rainbow. Instead, we get the Alex P. Keaton of the soccer world, the surly, snarky Eric Wynalda who is best known as Landon Donovan’s less-talented predecessor.

Last night, Eric thought it acceptable to liken the red flames of the road flares fans had set off in the crowd to the wildfires destroying homes and lives in Southern California. Yes. And aside from making light-hearted references to a continuing tragedy, Eric wouldn’t shut up about how “hated” Cuauhtémoc Blanco is despite every other spectator in the crowd wearing his #10 jersey.

This collective hatred that we are supposed to hold can be traced back to Blanco’s Mexican national team consistently dominating Wynalda’s US national team during the 90s. A lack of commentator objectivity due to unresolved issues and past failures (Tony Kornheiser) or blatant homerism (the Redskins radio broadcast team) is usually a recipe for unintentional hilarity, but Wynalda’s agenda is much too pitiful.

Not even the silky, lovable Valium that is Julie Foudy could save this embarrassing production. Instead of letting her do color commentary, which she has done more than competently in the past, they shove her into the Keyshawn Johnson/Shannon Sharpe novelty corner of the coverage desk. “Hey look everybody! It’s a girl! How crazy is THAT?” Julie is too dignified and sleepy to be up that late and not have a major speaking role. ESPN, please for the love of the game soccer and the people who watch it, put Julie Foudy up front where she belongs and give her a new Sierra Mist X with invigorating Ginkgo Biloba and other botanical extracts and sugar. We’re sure she can hit it out of the park, take it to the house, drive the lane for an and-one, and maybe even put the bulge in the ol’ onion sack.

“One Julie Fooooudy!! There’s only ONE Julie Foooooooudy!!!”

Today feels like a good day for some kind of Baltimore sports news to break. It’s a Friday, it’s a Ravens bye week, we’re on a three-day run of rain and chill. If you wanted some news to slip out, this afternoon wouldn’t be a bad time to do it.

So just in case, here’s a place to talk about it if it happens.

In other news, DC United fell at Chicago last night, 1-0. The way MLS playoffs work is that the two-game series is decided on the total number of goals scored, so when Chicago comes to town on Thursday the United are basically starting out at -1. Not insurmountable.

The Capitals impressed me last Saturday in their loss against the Penguins. This team is very tough — much more so, it seems, than other Caps teams of recent vintage. They’re sitting at 4-4 — not a bad start. They’ll look to improve that tonight as the Vancouver Canucks and their rad new jerseys come to town.

Anything else on your mind, let ‘er rip.

Tonight the Rockies send 23-year-old Ubaldo Jimenez to the hill against Boston’s grizzled, 40-year-old playoff hero, Curt Schilling. This isn’t quite a must win, but let’s be realistic here. If Colorado can’t find a way to get this one they’re in a serious no-man’s land.

This series has all the earmarks of a classic “team on the verge but not quite there” scenario. Usually it takes a team like the Rockies a year or two of falling short to learn how to finally put it together. The Sox, meanwhile, are a few years into their reign and are due for another Series win (which will probably end up being 2 of an eventual 3 before they hit their down cycle).

All of which will be reconsidered if the Rockies win tonight (they’re up 1-0 in the second as I type).

Meanwhile, over in Chicago, DC United open up a playoff run of their own with a match against Cuauhtémoc Blanco and his Chicago Fire. Being able to say more than that about it is really Chris’ department, but I can say I’ll be keeping an eye on things. More knowledgable soccer fans are encouraged to pass along their thoughts.

I figured the Loss Column should weigh in on the Beckham invasion since it’s been so grossly under-reported. Beckham is good for American Soccer in the same way Gorgeous George was good for pro-wrestling. Pretty boys are fun to hate, and when they wear sarongs and fauxhawks, they’re even more fun to hate. I will go see Beckham play vs. DC United Sept 8th to boo him and to hope that Ben Olsen spikes him in the calf. But I’m not sure why.

Why am I paying to go to a game in the interest of spite for someone I never met? Probably for the same reason I felt a sense of indignation when Paris Hilton got out of jail early. I hate and envy the famous, and like much of America, hope and pray for their downfall. Beckham is like Paris Hilton with talent. They’re both vacuous, good-looking (more in the case of Beckham than Paris) clothes horses who are famous for being famous. The only exception is that Beckham is a vacuous, good looking clothes horse who, at 32, can still take free kicks better than anyone in the world.

On second thought, maybe the Paris Hilton comparison is a bit harsh. Beckham is more like Jon Bon Jovi. Girls love him, most guys hate him, and the ones that don’t hate him won’t admit to loving him. They’re both good at what they do, and they look good doing it. While JBJ excels at radio-friendly pop goo, Beckham excels at free kicks. He doesn’t make dazzling runs or acrobatic bicycle kicks, he just takes free kicks. What’s amazing is that he’s done it well and for long enough to make him the most recognizable sports figure in the world.

Compared to past euro soccer giants who wound up in America, he doesn’t really measure up in talent or personality. He doesn’t have the charm and otherworldly skill of a Pele, he doesn’t have the loathsome sliminess and opportunistic goal hunger of a Giorgio Chinaglia, and he doesn’t have the poise, class, or leadership of a Franz Beckenbauer. He’s a one-note virtuoso with the personality of a hitching post who got swept up in the British tabloid hype machine which spread like a viral infection to the rest of the world. Now, like it or not, America is battling the infection and our media is doing it’s best to dump the vaccine down the sink.

According to some message boards and blogs, many Americans see the Beckham hype as an attempt to “force” soccer onto Americans. If soccer was really being forced on Americans, we’d see MLS highlights on Sportscenter. The Beckham madness isn’t about some global agenda to cram the world’s game down America’s throat. It’s not even about sport. It’s more about our fascination with fame.

It doesn’t matter what you’re famous for in America. It makes no difference whether you’re famous for taking out your competition by having them whacked in the knee or famous for marrying a wealthy, dying man 60+ years your senior. David Beckham is just some guy who plays a game most Americans don’t really care about, but he’s some guy who you recognize and about whom you have most likely already formed an opinion. You don’t have to love him or even respect him, you just have to recognize him. And in that respect, he’s already done more for the MLS in one weekend than any single player has in the league’s entire history. (more…)

It’s official: this Friday at 7 pm I’m going to be a guest on Michael Popovec’s WNST radio show. He does a weekly wrap every Friday and I’ll be one of the roundtable participants. I’m guessing that my views on the O’s will probably make for a good, lively discussion. That’s the hope anyway.

You can tune in at 1570 AM (if you’re in or near the northeast part of the city) or you can click on the “listen live” button at the top left of the NST site.

In other news…

– Fantastic piece by Jemele Hill at ESPN on the Barry Bonds saga. The whole “Dear God” conceit is a little (OK, a lot) hokey but she makes some excellent points. It’s one of the best takes on the situation I’ve yet read.

– Here’s an amusing post about Arsenal’s kit. I’ve come around on soccer, but it’s still hard to get used to the idea that the uniforms carry corporate sponsorship. This post just highlights that unease.

– New blogs in the sidebar: East Coast Bias, Girls Gone Sports, and Idiots Abound. Show them all some love.

– Don’t forget August 11th! I’ve put up a page with all the info so far, and I’ll be adding the link to the top of the site soon.

Traditionally, this time of year is a kind of horse latitude for sports talk. The NFL is done and gone, the NBA and NHL still haven’t really heated up, and baseball stands in a holding pattern until spring training gets going. College hoops is pretty much all that’s left, and even that stays fairly regional until tournament time.

BUT…there is still fodder. Here’s a roundup:

– First, I want to shout out a handful of sites that have linked and/or supported us. These are sites I personally read on a regular basis, and while they’re all in the “Further Reading” sidebar already I figure they deserve some specific mention.

I Dislike Your Favorite Team, The Hater Nation, and UmpBump all offer up enjoyable content on a regular basis. Not that I agree with everything they say, but I like to read them saying it. The fact that they’ve linked us from jump street makes them all the better.

Likewise, we’ve been treated very favorably by both Uni Watch and Deadspin, which are both mandatory daily reads.

– Roch Kubatko has kindly provided a full list of Orioles spring training invitees. I imagine most of you have already seen it, but I thought I’d link it just in case.

– There’s some interesting stuff going on in NASCAR this season, as Toyota makes their much-anticipated entry into the Nextel Cup series. Keith Naughton at Newseek has a nice summary of the situation.

I recognize that many of you probably don’t care much about NASCAR, but it is fast becoming the dominant series for international auto racing. The arrival of Juan Pablo Montoya is just the beginning, and this year’s Daytona 500 (Feb. 18th) figures to be a particularly good race.

– The US topped Mexico tonight in a fairly significant “friendly”. Everything I read about this match suggested that the Americans were something of an underdog, so I feel safe in saying it’s a big win.

It’s also worth mentioning that the game was played in front of a crowd nearly 65,000 strong. Soccer’s on the rise in a big way.

It should be interesting to see how the US coaching situation plays out. “Interim” coach Bob Bradley has now soundly defeated both Denmark and Mexico, and yet all US Soccer Federation president Sunil Gulati can say is that “There is no specific benchmark that Bob has to meet for him to be the coach. It’s an important game for a lot of reasons. Mexico’s an important rival. But this game doesn’t determine his fate.”

– Mike Tyson has checked into rehab for “various addictions”. I think I speak for all of us in hoping that “various” does not include “awesomely crazy.” If he gets cured of that, we all lose.