The Loss Column — Baltimore Sports Blog and Community

A few days ago in the comments, Andrew mentioned that he had a curiosity. He offered to send a picture and, sure enough (click for large version):

It’s a piece of “Baltimore” Orioles merchandise that appears to have been produced well after the Baltimore script logo was used.

So what gives? Any ideas?

– Want to know something the O’s have been progressive and proactive about lately? Nutrition, which I think is great.

– Daniel Cabrera felt good today, and if the Big Guy’s happy then so am I.

– Here’s the latest on the Cubs, who seem like they really could use Brian Roberts.

– Say adios to Javy Lopez, the walking, talking definition of the term “contract year”.

– I think I’m going to the second game of the year, or “Opening Night” as I’m calling it to make myself feel better. Anybody else?

Soon there’ll be lots of college basketball on TV. But with college basketball on TV comes college mascots on TV, and you’re gonna need to be prepared.

People either love mascots or hate mascots. But there’s one thing you can’t do: ignore mascots. Here’s the best and the worst from the place where athletics meets community theatre and puts on a costume.

Worst:

5. St. Joseph’s University – The Hawk (view)

A school as over-priced as SJU should be able to pay for an actual mascot costume instead of getting the equipment manager’s mom to sew something together in her free time. The fuzzy sweatpants and Down Syndrome eyes and non-stop arm-flapping and delusions of immortality (The Hawk Will Never Die) inspire involuntary hospitalization as opposed to school pride. It’s telling when people find out you’re an alumnus and immediately ask “What’s the deal with that hawk?”

4. University of Southern Illinois – Grey Dog (yeah, that’s the official name of the mascot) (view)

Good old-fashioned nightmare fuel.

3. Three-way tie:
Purdue - Purdue Pete (view)
UMASS – The Minuteman (view)
New England Patriots - Pat Patriot (view)

People are ugly and scary. Mascots that look like giant plastic people are even uglier and scarier. The clever names are telling of the laziness involved in opting for these cop-out mascots. Two of these horrid things are from Massachusetts. Go figure.

2. Notre Dame – The Leprechaun (view)

Short, bearded, red-headed guys in green vests are made to be ridiculed and hated so it kinda makes sense that Notre Dame chose one to be the face of their school.

1. Philadelphia 76ers - Hip Hop (view)

Hip-Hop is the mascot equivalent of Poochie the Rockin’ Dog meets Chester Cheetah meets The Worst Attempt at Urban Youth-Focused Marketing Since Boost Mobile Phones.

Best:

5. UC Santa Cruz - Sammy the Slug (view)

Look at how hard he’s chillin’. That kind of easy unflappability can’t be bought. It can only be earned. Insect mascots are difficult to pull off. Where Buzz the Georgia Tech Yellowjacket goes so wrong with it’s translucent fish bowl eyes, Sammy goes so right. He looks like a less creepy Gelfling from the Dark Crystal. Plus he’s a slug.

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A few noteworthy items have built up over the past couple of days, so here you go:

– No NFL Inquest this week because, well, I didn’t get around to it and now it’s Thursday. I promise to bring back the keen insights and trenchant analysis next week and for (nearly) every football week thereafter.

– Get it while it’s hot: a full rundown of next year’s MLB uniform changes. There’s some really interesting stuff in there, including a new (and very weak) identity for the “Tampa Bay Rays” (above) and some wicked cool alternates for the Indians and the Blue Jays.

No changes for the O’s, but you knew that.

via Uni Watch

– Speaking of new identities, the details of Dale Earnhardt Jr.’s new sponsors/number have been made official.

I’m actually fascinated by auto racing paint schemes and numbering systems, so feel free to nerd out with me on this.

– Finally, don’t forget to cast your vote on what happens to Barry Bonds‘ record-tainting home run ball. Marc Ecko deserves major props for this little stunt. I can’t imagine a cooler way to handle it, an opinion that’s backed up by this article. Anything that annoys Bonds can’t be all bad.

For the record, I cast my vote in favor of branding the ball with an asterisk. Man I hope that one wins.

You might remember awhile back when I teased a post breaking down the origins of a hex on the Baltimore Orioles. It was all laid out in my mind and ready to go when, suddenly, Sam Perlozzo got the ax and more important matters took center stage.

The theory at the time went something like this: 9-10 years of Orioles futility can be traced directly to Major League: Back to the Minors.

When the original (classic) Major League came out in 1989, the Indians were a joke. The movie didn’t immediately change their fortunes, but it’s fair to say that it kickstarted the rebuilding process and earned them some much-needed goodwill.

So far, so good.

Then, in 1994, Major League II hit the streets. Partially filmed in Baltimore’s own Oriole Park at Camden Yards, part II was inferior to its predecessor but not entirely unlikeable. The Indians used the occasion to finally become a winning team, and the Birds went 63-49.

The O’s then stumbled a bit in strike-shortened 1995 (71-73) before embarking on a glorious two-year playoff run.

Things were looking up. Corbin Bernsen was on his way to folk hero status. Until, in 1998, the Orioles and the Major League franchise went down in flames together.

Major League: Back to the Minors is an unmitigated disaster, a film wholly unworthy of its name. Likewise, Joe Carter, Doug Drabek, and Norm Charlton — “big” O’s pickups in the 97-98 offseason — had no business wearing the uniform.

The Major League franchise is forever tainted, and the O’s haven’t won since.

It’s a solid theory, but maybe it doesn’t tell the whole story.

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There’s a certain peace surrounding games against a team like the Mariners. The joy is purely in rooting for the black and orange, untainted by any particular dislike of the opposing team. In fact, in any other game I’m always rooting for Ichiro Suzuki. If he played anywhere other than the west coast he’d be much better known as what he really is: one of the most electric players in the game today.

It’s Erik Bedard vs. Felix Hernandez tonight. Fire away in the comments.

While you’re at, it take a look at that 110% righteous St. Louis Browns logo. I’m all for putting “Baltimore” back on the road jerseys (and man, what a mess that turned out to be), but while we’re at it I say we advocate for a whole host of aesthetic improvements. A Browns throwback night would have me at hello.

Yesterday’s “Baltimore on the Road Jerseys” saga was an interesting one to say the least. Following my post I got into it with WNST’s Drew Forrester a little bit via email. Then Roch Kubatko did a couple of posts about it, and now it carries over as probably the biggest sports story of the day today.

Like I said yesterday, if it’s true it’s a giant development. For the record I think it’ll probably happen, think it should happen, and am perfectly content to wait and see. Right now you have one report saying it’ll happen and a vague denial from the team. Until someone breaks a new story or the team makes another official announcement, what’re we bitching about again?

Thankfully we can get back to the team on the field tonight as they visit Washington for the start of a weekend series.

Pitching matchups as follows:

Steve Trachsel vs. Jason Simontaachi
Jeremy Guthrie vs. Jason Bergmann
Erik Bedard vs. Micah Bowie

No reason on paper we can’t sweep ‘em. If any of you are going to be at the game on Saturday night, let me know.

More to come later today.

It’s official: this Friday at 7 pm I’m going to be a guest on Michael Popovec’s WNST radio show. He does a weekly wrap every Friday and I’ll be one of the roundtable participants. I’m guessing that my views on the O’s will probably make for a good, lively discussion. That’s the hope anyway.

You can tune in at 1570 AM (if you’re in or near the northeast part of the city) or you can click on the “listen live” button at the top left of the NST site.

In other news…

– Fantastic piece by Jemele Hill at ESPN on the Barry Bonds saga. The whole “Dear God” conceit is a little (OK, a lot) hokey but she makes some excellent points. It’s one of the best takes on the situation I’ve yet read.

– Here’s an amusing post about Arsenal’s kit. I’ve come around on soccer, but it’s still hard to get used to the idea that the uniforms carry corporate sponsorship. This post just highlights that unease.

– New blogs in the sidebar: East Coast Bias, Girls Gone Sports, and Idiots Abound. Show them all some love.

– Don’t forget August 11th! I’ve put up a page with all the info so far, and I’ll be adding the link to the top of the site soon.

Our neighbors to the south, the Washington Nationals, wore Virginia Tech hats in tonight’s game against the Braves as a way of showing respect to those affected by the tragedy.

So classy, so cool, so right. These are the sorts of things that make sports what they are.